A Canine 2012 Election Treatise Or...
"Timmy Fell Down The Well"
In the beginning there was God.
Life was good until…
God got lonely and created Man.
Life was good until…
God knew Man was lonely and created Woman
Life was good until…
God created Animals to assist Man & Woman
They feasted on ribs and fish and bread
God taught Man to live on Belief & Faith,…
Life was good until…
Some Men created false beliefs thinking that was faith.
Man came to value false beliefs & whiny idols
To counter evil & sins…God created DOG
DOG taught selfless love to Man who became ManKIND.
God and DOG together taught Belief, Love & Friendship can be yours sans money
DOG was so good he became a part of all Men’s walks of life
Life was good until…
Man created evil when he could not accept God or DOG
Turning themselves into false prophets like PETA, HSUS.
Then came a great flood where Noah gathered all DOGS, Animals and ManKIND to sail away on a great ship, called the Ark. They left behind PETA & HSUS behind because of their false beliefs. PETA & HSUS survived because manure floats. ManKIND survived because they could DOG-paddle around the world. Then too because God is good & DOG is love, the false prophets were left alive so they could be saved.
Life was good until…
Man created the IRS who believed man should live without money.
Man created government so ManKIND could live without faith
Man created more government agencies like APHIS, USDA & DNR who all thought one blanket policy was all ManKIND needed to survive. That meant no Hunting, no Animals & especially No DOGS.
Then when APHIS, USDA & DNR took up much of manKIND’s lives they were infiltrated by animal & mankind haters called HSUS & PETA, individuals whose DNA were still furious for being left behind when the good ark did sail lo those many centuries ago. There became a great war that was not fought over beliefs, but because of manKIND’s dependency on animals. The selfless love of a DOG infuriated those without compassion (Animal Rights Activists) the most. HSUS & PETA knew that the DOG had to go and go first.
Once gone manKIND would never stand a chance until they too were extinct. Without DOGs, it would be one generation and out for manKIND. ManKIND would be feeble putty in AR claws without their DOGs to hug. Until the big O came along HSUS & PETA twaddle went few places legislatively. That changed in 2008. Since 2008 HSUS has quintupled their efforts until America faces tsunamis of legislation that keeps coming & growing so large it threatens to engulf all of canine/pet owners in just... one wave.
Then in the blistering hot summer of 2012 HSUS & PETA worked 24/7 to herd manKIND and their Animals aboard a great ship called the USDA/APHIS/HSUS Docket 2011-0003 Titanic and set sail straight for the biggest iceberg possible whilst leaving HSUS & PETA wildly jumping up and down over their impending success… behind on shore, soon to be keepers of American castles or so they thought.
In the meantime back on land, there was a great election of leaders. It was the bigO/bigJO, pied pipers against conservative Leaders, leaders who supported religious freedom, small government, personal liberties, love of family & self, brandishing their dogs atop vehicles as hood ornaments to point the way. Reporters & the media ran around like lemmings to the sea supporting the pied pipers, never realizing they were just mere pawns in AR & Lobbyist claws.
Whereupon Balto, savior of manKIND from icebergs gave out a great call to all DOGs throughout all centuries dashing across the water on jet-skis DOG-sleds to deliver a message “Whoooooaaaa Boat.” Then came the jet-ski DOG-sleds commanded by all the DOGs that manKIND has loved…
Lassie, Seamus, RinTinTin, Toto, Marmaduke, Astro, Prince Tom, Hooch, Beethoven, Barry, Big Bob, Bodger, Boomer, Bowser, Bruno, Brutus, Buddy, Bullet, Burger Beagle, Butch, Buttons, Canis Major, Canis Minor, Carface Caruthers, Chainsaw, Champion, Charley, Chester Drescher, Chester The Molester, ChingChing, Chip Chopper, ChingChing, Clifford, Corkie, Corn Doggie, Cuddley Dudley, Cupcake, Coco, Diesel, Deputy Dawg, Dippy Dog, Dirty Dog, Dogzilla, Duke, Eagle, Earl, Fairy Wogdog, Fast Eddie, Fido, Fifi, Flapjack, Fluffy, Foofur, Frank, Fred, Frisky, Goldy, Goober, Goofy, Greyfriars Bobby, Gromit, Hambone, Handsome Dan, Huckleberry Hound, Jiggs, Jumbo Red, Kavik, Kipper, Kojak, Lad, Lady, Laughing Gravy, Little Ann, Lochinvar Bobby, Lucky Pup, Ma Beagle, Man Ray, Marr-Mutt, Meathead, Mighty Manfred, Mr Chips, Mr Smelly, Offisa Bull Pup, Old Bill, Old Drum, Old Flinthead, Old Yeller, Oscar, Pal, Patch, Peanut, Pepper, Pickles, Pink Pirate, Pluto, Pongo, Pookah, Porky, Pretsel, Prince, Puddy, Scruffy, Shep, Shithead, Skipper, Snarleyyow, Snorkysaurus, Sparky, Spike, Sport, Spot, Strongheart, Tackhammer, TamTam The Chiseler, Teddy Salad, Theodore Peteroff, Thunderbolt, Tiger, Tramp, Ubu, Underdog, White Fang, White Shadow, Won Ton Ton, Wylie Burp, Young Mustard, Yukon King, Zero, Zeus, Zippy, The Pup, Quark, Queenie, Rags, Red Dog, Rebel, Rascal, Rex, Rinty, Rocky, Roger Dog, Rosebud, Rover, Rufus, Rusty, Sam, Sandy, Scamp, Scooby Doo, Topo Gigo & Tinkerbelle.
Arriving first on the scene, as the big ship loomed near the great big iceberg Balto and his husky team cried out again. Mankind came to the rails looking in wonderment at all of the dogs that have helped them through life’s goodness. But still no one jumped the rail to land safely within loving DOG paws. They were frozen in disbelief, disbelief in that they had been lied to by the government that first marched on July 4, 1776 and principals they voted into office, who claimed “they knew best.”
On top of the ship, with hair blowing with many of manKIND looking ahead to the iceberg they were about to hit, Seamus barked out...
"This is the most important election of our lifetime."
Still, ManKIND remained frozen…Until…Lassie masterfully wielded her jet boat and barked out her lifeline signature comment…
“Come help, Timmy has fallen down the well.
"Timmy has been pushed down the well."
"USDA/APHIS/HSUS Terrorists...
Are sitting on top of Timmy's well"
We need your vote NOW, your voice NOW...
To save all the Timmys of the America."
As if they were one, manKIND peeled over ship rails & jumped into the DOG-led jetskis, in gratitude for the love of a good DOG. All sailed in little DOGgie dinghies back to America where HSUS, PETA stood sullenly at shore. They whined…
Then on Election Day manKIND voted out big government, socialist economies, dependency for…manKIND and man’s best friend, our DOGS. Toto turned to Whiney PackYourCells & jubilantly threw a bucket of water all over Whiney. “I’m melting. I’m melting”. And so did Whiney melt until a brown lump was all that was left. Toto walked over that pile of manure and hiked his leg calling out...
“Spay/Neuter THIS.
You will get my testicles...
When you pry them out of my cold dead paws.”
After the big election which the Conservatives won due to DOGs, life wasn’t just good, it was great so long as government was truly conservative. Big government was out. Blanket policies were out. Lobbyists, HSUS & PETA was outed for what they really are. Our borders became secure and it became an honor to be a USA citizen & speak the King's English & be able to worship in a house of God. Government came back to local communities and listened, then acted on the majority citizen wishes. When Congress in a goverment blockade snit couldn’t balance the budget because they moved against the left, back to the middle which toppled justice for all. Once again every DOG listed above that saved mankind before, proudly climbed on the scales of Justice saving America for manKIND once again.
Our government was set up with a set of checks & balances & was based on Judea principles. To balance the scales of Justice takes everyone on the scales to remain balanced, which translates as balance the budget, don't spend more than you make, encourage free enterprise. Remember Ma Belle?
And DOG smiled down on earth and looked across at God.
“Every DOG has its day.” The End
By Anonymouse or perhaps the ghost of Seamus, an Irish Setter;)
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While it is clear this USA citizen supports a conservative & small government, knowing that her federal job could be ended, the right thing to do is to go back to our Conservative values where majority rules, where lobbyists/AR groups are spay/neutered, where a few with money no longer dictate to the majority, where our borders are protected instead of protecting other countries who only want our money, where all are encouraged to be all they can, where manKIND is accountable & considers the future they will hand to their children based on our past, where personal freedoms are taken for granted no more, where PETA runs naked through the streets only in their dreams, & HSUS becomes branded as the mentally ill terrorists they really are.
Regardless of which position you take in the upcoming Federal Election, it is clear that the future our way of life of dogs, pets and agriculture risks becoming forever unhinged.
Choose to make a difference and vote CONSERVATIVE !!!!
And if they aren't "conservative", vote them out until the USA economy matures, grows ripe, with hope & anticipation for our future...over and over and over.
